Something to say...

Finals were last week, my final semester of high school is now activated. I sware it feels like yesterday I was a freshman and now for it to be almost over...it blows my mind. I do feel as though everything is spiraling out of my control though. It's always something else going on or something else happening. Not to mention the fact that friends seem to be getting faker and faker by the damn day. It's funny how on a normal day that aint got shit to say to you but then when they need somethin they're all around you begging. It's so funny to me. Recently, depression has just been hitting me harder and harder. Between me struggling with my weight, school, SPANISH CLUB CUZ OF MS. ******!!!!, and just friends/personal life in general, it's hitting me really bad.

The spanish club situation is making me want to quit. I used to love being in Spanish Club. Especially with Mr. M***** running it. With me becoming President, the club took a new turn. Now all of a sudden I'm not a good leader, irresponsible, don't contribute or anything like that. That's only her opinion. No one else in the club feels i'm that way (nor does the ex sponsor). So my question is Wtf is she on? Why is there a grudge against me? I have no idea. I don't really want to know either to be honest, it's just getting completely ridiculous. I could just quit Spanish Club, I don't need the stress. NHS covers the stress area enough lol.
NHS: 10 tutoring hours, 10 Character Points, 10 Community Service Hours, 2 Leadership Points. I have not even 1 tutoring hour (which can only take place at the library, field zone, or @ school, 2:30-4:30 Mon-THurs @ field zone, thursdays til 4 @ school). I'm going to try and do Tuesdays at the field zone but I don't really know. International club gets @ least 6 community service hours which is cool. Now I only have to worry about four. Community service hours are set which makes me feel good. Character points, right now I have two but I have @ least 3 more coming. You get a leadership point for each committee you actively participate in. I'm in three and then president of Spanish Club...if I don't quit. Lol.

Friends...you know thise was the main reason I was gonna do a blog today but I figure I would vent it all instead of just part of it. There are a lot of people I could name that haven't even been the same. I look around, especially during my third hour, and see all the people I used to be close with at different points in my high school life and it makes me shake my head. However, there are some people that have actually been doing really small random stuff that makes me feel like someone notices when I'm not at school. One person is Troy. Him and I have never really been that close, but you know what? Everytime he sees me, he says hi and gives me a hug. When i've been absent and come back to school, he gets on me about not being there in a playful mannor. That small tiny thing makes me feel so good just to know that someone notices. I know other people do too, and I know that my true friends care too but I don't know. Seeing someone that I'm not that close to notice and show me that they are friends if I need them made me feel good.

I'm getting tired so I'll finish l8r.

J.L.