Start off the day bad.

I should continue on what I said last night but I figure I should update on this morning first. It falls into last night's topic anyway. I dropped my ipod somewhere and its gone. I think I dropped it at school and if someone found it, they're not gonna turn it in. That's just how shit is at my school...my luck. Anyway, i'm heart broken by it. I loved that thing. I was crying for all of first hour and not one person said a damn thing to me. The first person that did kicked me, got mad cause I said i'm not in the mood and said I was just saying Hi and walked away. Friends. My friends. What kind of friend is that? What kind of friends do I have? So I walked to get some paper towel and my friend Janella, who I haven't really talked to much, and who sits on the other side of the room, got up walked to me and gave me a hug and asked what was wrong. Last I checked, that's what a real friend was. Of course I think I know at least a few other people that would do that but I could be wrong. Perfect example is the girl who I thought was a really close friend didn't do anything but kick me and get mad. Maybe I just don't know the definition of a friend. Maybe it has changed. Idk.

On another note. So I talked to W and apparently he aint goin to Eastern. That's what he said anyway, he could be lying so I won't know but I don't really care at this point. I know where I'm going and well...technically that's all that matters. He really just aint the same person to me anymore. He is a jerk. I hate that I loved him and that a part of me always will. He used to be so sweet and a true gentleman. All them sports got to his head. Now he's just like every other jock in high school. The sad thing is, I really thought he would turn out differently. I knew he wouldn't, but part of me had some hope that he would prove me wrong because the potential was there. Now he's an all state tri-athlete jerk. My other friend, Frank, he's not like W at all. He's still real and cool and gives me hugs and so do a few other boys I know that are jocks. To make matters worse, Frank is his best friend. So explain to me how your best friend can stay true to himself and his old friends but you cant. I asked him why did he ditch me when he got to high school and you know the first thing he said? Why did you? I'm like I tried hanging and talkin to you and you never wanted to. Never responded. Then he said right... I said what you mean right? I tried hanging with you over break and you never texted back. He said "sorry lol". I'm glad it's a joke to you. I'll keep that in mind when I'm reminising on all the old memories like when I broke my ankle, those letters I wrote you, messing with you in fourth and fifth grade. Those things will only be a memory from now on. At first I thought they were hope to a good friendship future. Now that future barely exists.

I gotta get ready to go back to school.

J.L.